Politics articles

THIS TODDLER JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THE SCHEME AND WAS MADE TO PAY UPFRONT FOR THIS PHOTO.

TODDLERS ENCOURAGED TO SAVE EARLY TO PAY FOR UNI DEGREES

TODDLERS ENCOURAGED TO SAVE EARLY TO PAY FOR UNI DEGREES

The Turnbull Government will be holding a series of financial workshops for two-year-olds in a bid to prepare them for the financial burden of getting educated. The workshops will commence next month and will cover off on important savings measures that the government claims toddlers are neglecting to factor into their future. “These little people

DELIGHTED TO JOIN THE LONG TRADITION OF QUALITY NEWS GATHERING AT SUNRISE SAYS HANSON

SUNRISE EMPLOYS HANSON AS CULTURAL AFFAIRS REPORTER

Channel Seven’s Sunrise program has today announced the appointment of Pauline Hanson as its expert reporter on Australian cultural issues, citing a need to beef up its sheltered white viewership. “Our ratings were beginning to drop sharply in the crucial anti-vaxxer and xenophobe demographic so pulling Pauline into the team was an easy choice for

"IT IS TIME TO EXPLOIT OUR OWN KIND" SAYS TURNBULL.

TURNBULL VOWS ONLY LOCAL AUSSIES WILL WORK FOR SHITTY WAGES

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has scrapped the 457 visa system, declaring that only Australia’s own citizens will be victimised through poor working conditions from now on. “I am sick to death of foreigners coming into our country and working our shittiest jobs – we should be asking our own people to do that,” Mr Turnbull

TRUMP ENJOYS A CARAMEL TORT AFTER BLOWING UP PART OF THE MEXICAN BORDER

TRUMP REVEALS WHAT CAKES HE WILL EAT DURING FUTURE BOMBINGS

US President Donald Trump has allowed the media to view his secret cake menu that he claims has been carefully designed to pair up with future bombing raids overseas. “When I last bombed ISIS I ate a very rich, chocolate cake with frosted icing,” Mr Trump said. “But I have to admit I look back

MORRISON IS ALSO CONSIDERING TAXING MONEY GIVEN TO KIDS FROM THE TOOTH FAIRY

MORRISON SAYS YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD DIP INTO POCKET MONEY TO AFFORD HOUSE

Treasurer Scott Morrison is preparing a bill which will force kids as young as five to cede their weekly allowance towards saving for a house deposit. If it passes next Tuesday, the new law will require children to participate in a ‘Work for your Pocket Money’ scheme, with most work likely to be completed mowing

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