Former Australian swimmer Grant Hackett has denied being the source of the violent shaking that took place on an AirAsia flight yesterday. “Honestly, it wasn’t me, those accusations are completely false,” Hackett told news reporters this morning. “I’ll admit that I was on that flight and I did have the guy seated in front of…
“Each of us should feel able to tell random strangers they are ugly gay poofta whores without fear of attack.”
The decision was made after Mr Jones asserted on air that Australia needed “more stolen generations”, with the comments proving to be the last straw for the Department of Social Welfare.
“We had to fly in a microscope from Switzerland with the power to see something below the atomic level…think of it as kind’ve like the Hubble Telescope but in reverse.”
“…‘Black Pete’, who, according to Dutch storybooks, is one of Santa’s most adorably incompetent “helpers” who earns no wage and just happens to be black”.