Pot plant claims Don Burke “routinely fondled its leaves”

THE PLANT CLAIMS IT STILL FINDS IT HARD TO TRUST CELEBRITY GARDENERS AFTER THE INCIDENT.

THE PLANT CLAIMS IT STILL FINDS IT HARD TO TRUST CELEBRITY GARDENERS AFTER THE INCIDENT.

Fresh allegations against former celebrity gardener Don Burke have been levelled by a pot plant who used to work on Burke’s Backyard.

The plant, who wishes to remain anonymous, alleges Mr Burke would routinely molest its leaves and stems on set and one time even tried to grab a root.

“I didn’t ask for Don to touch me, he would just find an excuse to drop by and caress my sprouting flowers – it was really gross,” the plant told the media.

“He would fertilise my soil against my will – sometimes he would use a brand fertiliser and sometimes he would use more unique methods.”

When questioned as to what unique methods it was referring to, the pot plant broke down and discontinued the interview.

THE FAULT REPORT IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY IS PURELY (AND LAMENTABLY) COINCIDENTAL.

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