Sunrise sends Cash Cow on assignment to Mosul

THE CASH COW WILL BE DELIVERING A SERIES OF HARD HITTING INTERVIEWS FROM THE AREA

THE CASH COW WILL BE DELIVERING A SERIES OF HARD HITTING INTERVIEWS FROM THE AREA

The Sunrise program has defended the move to send its Cash Cow on a dangerous assignment to cover the fall of ISIS in Iraq.

“Here at Sunrise we are always trying to push the boundaries of journalism,” host Samantha Armytage told us.

“Like, only this year we started using the term ‘breaking news’ to introduce stories about Tom Cruise’s penis – we were literally the first news organisation to start doing that.”

When asked how the Cash Cow was handling such a difficult assignment outside of its comfort zone, David Koch was quick to respond.

“Oh, the cash cow is dead, he got shot this morning. A very sad day for us obviously but the first lucky viewer to travel to Iraq and claim his body will win 20 big ones,” an excited Kochy declared.

THE FAULT REPORT IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY IS PURELY (AND LAMENTABLY) COINCIDENTAL.

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