Abbott still has nightmares after listening to “gay” Wham! song

ABBOTT STILL REFUSED TO LISTEN TO FM RADIO FOLLOWING THE INCIDENT

ABBOTT STILL REFUSES TO LISTEN TO FM RADIO FOLLOWING THE INCIDENT

Former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott has revealed he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder after “accidentally” listening to a George Michael song in his youth.

“I was flicking around the stations in my car and suddenly found myself bobbing along to a tune called Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” Mr Abbott explained.

“I liked it so much that I went out to buy the vinyl, that’s when I looked at the cover art and knew something catastrophic had happened.”

“The makeup, the permed hair, the hot pants…I felt sick.”

When asked why he thought listening to a song performed by a homosexual affected him so badly, Mr Abbott looked visibly uncomfortable.

“Well…>nervous laughter<…you just don’t know what the luscious lips of a young man could do to a guy…it could be corruptive…I just don’t think we should be allowing our car radios to be politicised,” a stammering Abbott said.

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