HANSON CLAIMS VEGEMITE IS TOO DARK

IT PUTS A JIHADI IN EVERY CHEEK CLAIMS HANSON.

IT PUTS A JIHADI IN EVERY CHEEK CLAIMS HANSON.

Senator Pauline Hanson is preparing a bill this week that will seek to force Australia’s iconicĀ brand Vegemite to produce a white version instead.

“It’s simply too dark and I no longer trust it quite frankly,” Ms Hanson told a small band of racists in Ipswich.

“I recently instructed my small team of natural mining scientists to run tests on Vegemite for more than three days now and they say that it is conclusive that Vegemite has been getting darker year on year.”

Ms Hanson is seeking to replace the main ingredient of yeast extract with a powdered milk substitute which would see the spread turn from dark brown to a dazzling aryan white.

“Only when Vegemite is white and adopts Australyan values should we let theseĀ bottled jungle bunnies back in our supermarkets,” Ms Hanson said in a statement.

The bill is not expected to pass the Upper House.

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