Treasurer Scott Morrison is preparing a bill which will force kids as young as five to cede their weekly allowance towards saving for a house deposit.
If it passes next Tuesday, the new law will require children to participate in a ‘Work for your Pocket Money’ scheme, with most work likely to be completed mowing the lawns of wealthy land barons on the North Shore.
“If young people are serious about owning a home I think most Australians would like to see them have to work hard for it,” Mr Morrison said.
“This new bill will encourage a savings culture, with 75% of pocket money to be mandatorily given to the government for safekeeping with a guaranteed dividend of 80 cents in the dollar.”
This is just the latest move by the government to quell public discontent on the issue of housing affordability.
“When we factor in forced pocket money saving, early access to superannuation, and our new slave labour camps that remind young people of the value of the dollar – housing affordability should be achievable by 2050 – provided the young people survive the slave camps obviously,” a chuffed Mr Morrison announced.
THE FAULT REPORT IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY IS PURELY (AND LAMENTABLY) COINCIDENTAL.