PAULINE HANSON WARNS OF JIHADI KINDER SURPRISE TOY

HANSON CLAIMS THE KINDER EGGS COULD BE A GATEWAY TO TERRORISM

HANSON CLAIMS THE KINDER EGGS COULD BE A GATEWAY TO TERRORISM

Pauline Hanson has followed up her warnings of halal-certified Easter eggs with claims of terror-inspired Kinder Surprise toys hitting our supermarket shelves.

Ms Hanson called a press conference outside the Ipswich Bowling Club earlier today to make the announcement.

“What I found inside this egg should worry every Christian Australian,” Ms Hanson told reporters whilst brandishing the offending toy.

“This toy when assembled depicts a man, a black man…with a beard.”

A stunned press pit stood in silence before a frustrated Ms Hanson continued.

“A beard…a black beard…a black beard on a black man…what are you all simple or something? Don’t you understand the danger?”

At this point reporters quickly dispersed to pursue real news.

At any rate, Kinder Surprise was contacted for comment regarding Hanson’s allegation.

“No, that toy was simply part of a our Mr T series of retro toys,” Kinder Surprise spokesperson Ernesto Young said.

“And on a sidenote, this Pauline Hanson person assembled the toy incorrectly, she had Mr T’s head screwed onto his crotch area – there are only three pieces so we are bit confused as to how a grown woman made that kind of mistake”.

Despite the lack of media outrage, Ms Hanson says she will continue to raise awareness of the dangerous Kinder toys.

“I eat these Kinder eggs all the time and I would hate to think of a child being corrupted,” Ms Hanson said.

“And I should know, people actually tell me I see the world through the eyes of a child all the time.”

THE FAULT REPORT IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY IS PURELY (AND LAMENTABLY) COINCIDENTAL.

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2 Comments

  1. Shannon Love said:

    Obviously I am not the only one that believes that is a bit radical. It is a child’s toy in a candy egg. Let’s just entertain the notion that the surprise was a “black man with a beard” and not Mr.T. How is that a cause for concern for Christians in Australia l,et alone Christians anywhere? I’m am confused by what the “concern” is. Lastly, I find myself more perturbed by the idea that a child could possibly be “corrupted” by a toy of a “black man with a beard”. What fascinates me is the fact that Pauline Hansen seems to be more “concerned” with the wrong threat. The toy, an inanimate object, could somehow sway her child in the direction of corruption! Yet she takes no ownership in her “corruptable” child.

  2. Shannon Love said:

    Obviously I am not the only one that believes that is a bit radical. It is a child’s toy in a candy egg. Let’s just entertain the notion that the surprise was a “black man with a beard” and not Mr.T. How is that a cause for concern for Christians in Australia l,et alone Christians anywhere? I’m am confused by what the “concern” is. Lastly, I find myself more perturbed by the idea that a child could possibly be “corrupted” by a toy of a “black man with a beard”. What fascinates me is the fact that Pauline Hansen seems to be more “concerned” with the wrong threat. The toy, an inanimate object, could somehow sway her child in the direction of corruption! Yet she takes no ownership in her “corruptable” child.

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