Australia’s Minister for Heterosexual Affairs, Peter Dutton, has hit back at assertions the iconic Qantas kangaroo might be gay.
The question was put to Mr Dutton during a press conference where the minister was outlining the clear separation that needs to exist between business and public morality.
“The business world has no right to question Australia’s same-sex marriage laws because business should care about nothing else except how much it can lift its bottom line and how many people’s dreams it needs to trample to do it,” Mr Dutton told reporters at the conference.
“As for this ridiculous question about whether or not the Qantas kangaroo is gay, well, I mean how ridiculous, clearly this kangaroo is a red blooded male that attends church twice a week and can pick up female kangaroos to fornicate with as regular as clockwork – that much should be obvious.”
Mr Dutton then furnished this point further by acting out how a straight kangaroo would likely go about its sexual pursuits – bringing the press conference to a swift and unsavoury closure.
In related news, Peter Dutton has been arrested for disturbing the peace and impersonating a horny kangaroo in public.
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