The Turnbull Government will be holding a series of financial workshops for two-year-olds in a bid to prepare them for the financial burden of getting educated.
The workshops will commence next month and will cover off on important savings measures that the government claims toddlers are neglecting to factor into their future.
“These little people need to understand that Australia can’t simply pay their way forever, they have had a number of months on Earth to think about their education and as far as we can see they have done nothing so far,” Education Minister Simon Birmingham said this morning.
“We will be pitching a number of ideas to toddlers including the selling of used nappies to third world countries, flogging finger painting art to Jackson Pollock enthusiasts, and maybe even staying on the boob a little longer to cut down on bottled milk costs – this stuff all adds up.”
The government is facing backlash over the workshops however, particularly over the idea that toddlers will be forced to fork out money to attend them.
“Well, we are not running a charity here, these education seminars will need to be paid for by somebody,” Prime Minister Turnbull said in response to the criticism.
“We have even commenced a series of workshops for babies to help them prepare for the costs of the toddler workshops – can’t ask for anything fairer than that.”
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