US President Donald Trump has announced the implementation of a nationwide ban on news outlets reporting on any news bans overnight.
Mr. Trump delivered executive order number 344727 at 1am this morning declaring any journalist reporting on the news bans will have their writing hand forcibly amputated – replicating a similar law passed by ISIS in June of last year.
“There is absolutely no point in me banning fake news outlets like CNN and The New York Times if they just go ahead and report on that news ban anyway,” President Trump told his public relations agency Fox News this morning.
“In fact, if the truth be known me telling you on air right now actually contravenes the new laws,” Mr. Trump claimed before taking out a gun and shooting host Sean Hannity in the neck.
“This interview never happened, it’s fake news, all fake”!
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