TRUMP REFUSES MERKEL HANDSHAKE, PREFERS SHE URINATE ON HIM INSTEAD

THE WORST TRUMP LEAK YET: THE AKWARD MOMENT BETWEEN PICTURED ABOVE.

THE WORST TRUMP LEAK YET: THE AWKWARD MOMENT BETWEEN THE PAIR PICTURED ABOVE.

US President Donald Trump has created an awkward scene with German leader Angela Merkel by requesting she pee on his leg in front of a shocked press gallery.

The two leaders met in the White House yesterday to talk up their trade relationship, however, things quickly turned sour when Trump rebuffed a handshake with Merkel to instead ask for some pornographic water sports to take place.

When the German Chancellor looked repulsed and quickly refused, Trump was quick to >cough< water things down.

“Hey, I’m a germaphobe, I was only asking for a golden shower on my leg…it’s not like I was asking for anything near my face or anything – maybe if we became friends but not right now,” Mr Trump backtracked.

When Ms Merkel appeared to become visibly ill, the US President felt compelled to revise his proposition further.

“You are taking me literally Angela, I need you to take me seriously and not literally…what I really meant by asking you to urinate on me was a metaphor for…a wall….yeah building a wall between us, but not like a complete wall because I still want us to talk, but like a giant wall with a small hole, like a glory hole, no wait, not a glory hole…hold on…”.

Ms Merkel cut the press conference short at this point and has since taken leave effective immediately to recover from the experience.

THE FAULT REPORT IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY IS PURELY (AND LAMENTABLY) COINCIDENTAL.

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