US President Donald Trump has allowed the media to view his secret cake menu that he claims has been carefully designed to pair up with future bombing raids overseas.
“When I last bombed ISIS I ate a very rich, chocolate cake with frosted icing,” Mr Trump said.
“But I have to admit I look back on that bombing with deep regret – I should have chosen a chocolate mousse or maybe a custard donut.”
“As President you have to live with a lot of regrets.”
Mr Trump admits that watching the targets he selected the day prior on Twitter for annihilation just isn’t the same when you don’t have the right culinary accompaniment.
“When it comes to bombing Syria I prefer to keep it light and eat a fruit flan,” the President boasted.
“However the North Korean bombing next week I think will be best enjoyed with a thick slice of black forrest cheesecake and a tall glass of almond milk”
When asked what becomes of the leftovers after the bombings are completed, Mr Trump was sheepish.
“I’m afraid there are no leftovers, I eat the whole thing which plays havoc with my stomach to be honest with you.”
“You want to know about collateral damage? Ask my bathroom attendant”.
THE FAULT REPORT IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY IS PURELY (AND LAMENTABLY) COINCIDENTAL.