US President Donald Trump has green-lighted a plan to join forces with Russia in the unmitigated hacking of American government agencies.
“It makes a lot more sense to do it this way,” Trump claimed this morning.
“Why should Putin spend so many resources hacking us from the outside when I can simply help him hack us from the inside – after all we do go to the same periodontist.”
As expected, Republicans are supporting the move despite the plan contradicting its entire philosophical ethos on geo-politics.
“Well, who’s to say that helping our great enemy to destroy us from within is the wrong thing to do?” questioned the Speaker of the House of Representatives Paul Ryan.
“I support Trump, he’s new to this, we should give him the time to make as many cataclysmic mistakes as he wants before we step in and criticise.”
Meanwhile, Putin was brief in his support of the plan a few moments ago.
“This will save me many rubles on servers and data storage,” the relieved Russian leader said.
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