Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has scrapped the 457 visa system, declaring that only Australia’s own citizens will be victimised through poor working conditions from now on.
“I am sick to death of foreigners coming into our country and working our shittiest jobs – we should be asking our own people to do that,” Mr Turnbull said in parliament today.
“The next time I see someone cleaning out a urinal I want it to be a Craig and not a Nimrod. The next time I abuse a waitress for not cooking my steak correctly, it would be nice to be chastising a Cheryl or Lorraine and not a Chin or Priyanka.”
“If we are truly serious about reimplementing slavery it would be nice for the slaves to be white for once basically.”
In related news, the PM has employed the services of a fleet of local child workers to determine the feasibility of reimplementing slavery.
More to come.
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