NSW mascot found dead in apartment

A TROUBLED SOUL FINALLY AT REST HIS FRIENDS SAY

A TROUBLED SOUL FINALLY AT REST HIS FRIENDS SAY

The iconic NSW cockroach mascot has reportedly been found dead in his Surry Hills apartment police are saying.

“The deceased was found in his bed next to a bunch of empty prescription tablet bottles,” Detective Inspector Charles Hughes told reporters this morning.

“Friends of the mascot have all provided character statements to police and we believe they collectively paint the picture of a very depressed man who suffered from severe mental trauma for the last 12 years.”

An unnamed source close to the cockroach told us that last night’s loss to the Maroons was the last straw.

“He already wasn’t in a good place, he was drinking heavily, he had become abusive to his friends – I think we all knew that if he didn’t get any good news soon he might do something to himself,” the source said.

“At least now he is finally at peace.”

The cockroach is survived by a NSW squad that needs to have a long bloody hard look at themselves.

THE FAULT REPORT IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY IS PURELY (AND LAMENTABLY) COINCIDENTAL.

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