Pearce confident of leading Knights to preliminary finals glory

PEARCE IS VERY CONFIDENT OF MEDIOCRITY AFTER SIGNING WITH KNIGHTS.

PEARCE IS VERY CONFIDENT OF MEDIOCRITY AFTER SIGNING WITH KNIGHTS.

Mitchell Pearce has declared he can take the Newcastle Knights all the way through to the third week of the finals series in 2018.

“I know I still have it in me to marshal the troops and get them one game away from a grand final,” a confident Pearce said after announcing news of his multimillion dollar contract with the Knights this afternoon.

“Building up the hopes of fans and then stomping on them in crucial big pressure moments is what I do best and I see no reason I won’t be able to do that next year for Newcastle.”

News of Pearce coming to the steel town was met with mixed emotions from fans and club staff alike.

“It’s bittersweet for us to be honest,” Knights coach Nathan Brown revealed only moments ago.

“I mean, it’s nice to know that with Mitchy here we will be a good chance of playing finals footy next year, but on the other hand, it kinda sux to know that with Mitchy here we will never win a premiership – honestly I don’t know how to feel right now.”

Bookmakers have also found themselves in a weird spot with punters, making some significant adjustments to the market next year following the news.

“Well the odds of Newcastle making the semis in 2018 is now in the red,” a spokesperson for Sportsbet told us.

“However the chances of a premiership for these guys has now blown out to 43765/1 – to give you some perspective that’s the same odds we offer for James Maloney to finish his career with Penrith – pretty smokey stuff.”

THE FAULT REPORT IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY IS PURELY (AND LAMENTABLY) COINCIDENTAL.

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