Shane Flanagan’s ‘list of ultimatums’ leaked to the media

FLANO SAYS MAKING THE SHARKS PLAY BY THE RULES IS AGAINST THE RULES

FLANO SAYS MAKING THE SHARKS PLAY BY THE RULES IS AGAINST THE RULES

Sharks coach Shane Flanagan is facing an embarrassing leak today after a list he authored with a range of grievances against referees was stolen from his car and published on social media.

The following is an excerpt from the list that was published on Instagram only a short time ago.

“Dear Tony Archer,

Your bloody refs f*#ked us last night! They chose to suddenly police the rules stringently and our boys should’ve been told that playing by the rules was going to be an integral part of the night! We were thoroughly unprepared and feel that having to learn all of the rules on the fly was nothing short of an ambush. I have a list of ultimatums below that you need to action ASAP, otherwise I’ll convince Paul Gallen to play on for another three years – and nobody will benefit from that!

  1. Allow all Sharks players in 2018 to tackle any player regardless of where they are, and if they have the ball.
  2. All Sharks teams now get nine tackle sets (12 tackle sets in Golden Point).
  3. Make James Maloney stop doing that players pay dispute shit – the guy can’t bloody multitask!
  4. Bring back Stephen Dank – we need an energy boost.
  5. The Sharks from now on will be allowed to lift all players above the horizontal, and even earn points if they flip players the full 360.
  6. Luke Lewis can never be ruled offside (we acknowledge that this has been enforced well this year, thanks for that).
  7. We feel grounding the ball is unnecessary for us to score tries, so from now on if a Sharks player enters the 10 metre radius of the ball in the in-goal – it’s a T-R-Y.

You have 24 hours to respond, otherwise one Cowboys fan will die every hour you are late.

Kindest regards,

Shane “Flano” Flanagan.”

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