Slater takes milking penalties to new level

SLATER IS TIPPED TO WIN BOTH A DALLY M MEDAL AND A GOLDEN GLOBE FOR HIS PERFORMANCE TONIGHT.

SLATER IS TIPPED TO WIN BOTH A DALLY M MEDAL AND A GOLDEN GLOBE FOR HIS PERFORMANCE TONIGHT.

Melbourne Storm fullback, Billy Slater, has been lauded for faking unconsciousness for several minutes in order to gain a much-needed penalty against the Raiders.

“That was better than Daniel Day Lewis,” Raiders half Blake Austin said.

“To stay in character for that long just shows how committed Billy is to the Storm’s penalty count – simply amazing stuff.”

When Slater finally broke character and sat up in the emergency room of Canberra Hospital, he was met with a resounding applause from impressed hospital staff and reporters.

“I was about to administer CPR when he just sat up and started giggling,” Dr Hawkins told us.

“I was very impressed with Billy, however, I was more confused than impressed when Cameron Smith grabbed my defibrillator and kicked it into touch – that was just weird.”

THE FAULT REPORT IS A SATIRICAL WEBSITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY IS PURELY (AND LAMENTABLY) COINCIDENTAL.

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