The Australian Government has forcefully taken away each listener from radio commentator Alan Jones in order to protect them from his heinous worldview.
The decision was made after Mr Jones asserted on air today that Australia needed “more stolen generations”, with the comments proving to be the last straw for the Department of Social Welfare.
“Today we have sent in thousands of welfare officers into the homes of Mr Jones’s fan base to smash up as many radios as we could find,” a spokesperson for the agency said.
“We can’t have people being exposed to views like this – it is for the betterment of mankind that we forcefully remove or damage all radios in Australia and do as much damage to the 2GB transmission tower as we can.”
“It is our sincere hope that after a while these listeners can simply assimilate into acceptable Australian society and start listening to more non-offensive shows like Fitzy and Whipper or Hamish and Andy.