Growers of brussels sprouts have suddenly become rich again after demand for the leafy green vegetable of death spikes rapidly in Sydney and Melbourne.
Cafes across the two cities have been selling tens of thousands “Brussels Shakes” to undiscerning hipsters who will eat anything so long as it’s slightly different to culinary norms.
Cafe owner Norman Manbun told The Fault Report that combining a donut filled with Nutella and a single brussels sprout was as important a marriage as when Milli met Vanilli – only tastier!
“This is a true revelation in cafe cuisine – the fatty, smooth rich flavour of the donut really offsets the rancid shittiness of the sprout nicely,” Mr Manbun said.
“People have been flocking to my store in even greater numbers than that time we introduced our purple carrot infused Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.”
We stopped to interview one hipster who just couldn’t seem to get enough Brussels Shakes matted through his unkempt beard.
“I don’t even know why I’m drinking this because it tastes like the Ebola virus, but I am and I will continue to in great volume until the next fad comes along,” the hipster who preferred to rename anonymous and dishevelled told us.