The Duke of Edinburgh has announced he will be retiring from his role as head of racist gaffes, opting to make most of his future bigoted comments behind closed doors from now on.
“It’s time I let the jiggaboos and jungle monkeys be berated by someone else for a change,” a teary Prince Philip told some of his most dear and white friends.
“The more I look around the world these days the more I realise that racism can carry on without me now, with Mr Trump to take the mantle and push it forward into the new millennium.”
The 95-year-old Duke says he may be retiring, however he will continue to make the odd public appearance every now and then to check up on the racist movement and make sure it’s still on track.
“I still plan on dressing up in blackface on Guy Fawkes Day naturally, as well as questioning the selection legitimacy of any future English cricketer who isn’t a seventh generation Anglo-Saxon,” the Prince boasted.
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